The Evolution of an Intimate Relationship
by Mystic Life

People have a tendency to make choices in their intimate relationships based upon a very limiting set of socialized rules and roles.  I find it somewhat sad because our tendency is to be free.  Nevertheless the norm is not founded in freedom, but in simplistic limitation.  Here are the typical stages of an intimate relationship:

1. Have sex
2. Live together
3. Get married
4. Have children
5. Divorce or stay together until death

The only room for creativity is in whether or not to stay together or in rare cases whether or not to have children.  And of course monogamy is generally not only seen as normal but "good" and "respectable."  What I find disturbing about the assumption of monogamy is that most people seem to give away their right to make choices about their sexuality to their partner, and would be open to varied intimacy if they only had permission.  This need for permission seems to stem from a desire to stay in the familiar role of a child who is not responsible for their own decisions.

I desire to break out of this system and follow my own path.  My resistance in the past has been that I knew my decision to break free would (for a time) reduce the likelihood of an intimate relationship with the majority of women (because the majority of women consider themselves monogamous).  Many women and men tend to buy into the system of monogamy without questioning it.  It seems that women have more greatly than men been socialized to build their identities around marriage and children, and have been socialized to believe that intimacy with multiple partners makes them "bad."