Accepting Acceptance
by Mystic Life

When we are young it is rare to feel fully accepted.  Parents and other authority figures are seen as all-powerful, and often correct our behavior so that we remain safe from harm.

Sometimes their correction is helpful, such as when we are wandering out into the street.  Sometimes it is not very helpful at all, such as when we are told that we shouldn't pursue our passion because it is irresponsible, or if we are forced to take lessons in something that doesn't interest us at all.

This parent-child control-based dynamic often continues into our relationships as adults.  Many people feel that they can't be fully accepted, that love is conditional, and that being controlled is part of being loved.

Polyamory involves the risk of being fully known.  Many people take the risk of being fully known by their friends, but not by a person with whom they are intimately involved.  Threats to security arise because people often do not accept each other's sexuality unless it is a lie, unless it is a watered-down version of reality.

If you "only have eyes" for one person then you are less likely to be a threat to that person.  Realistically, it is common to feel attracted to many people and to have the desire to be intimate with more than one person.  How you handle this reality is up to you.  In the realm of monogamy it is commonplace to keep truth hidden so as to not threaten your lover.  Therefore you end up being fully known by friends but are a stranger to your lovers.